Kate Middleton Body Double Conspiracy Grows After Princess Spotted With Andrew W.K., Avril Lavigne, and the Undertaker

LONDON — Internet detectives trying to solve the mystery surrounding Kate Middleton are dissecting a series of paparazzi photos that show the princess out for a stroll with musicians Andrew W.K., Avril Lavigne, and professional wrestler the Undertaker.

“I’ve gone back through nearly a decade of photos and I’ve never seen Kate with the Undertaker before. I thought maybe he would be in some of the photos from Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, but no, there are no photos of a 6’10” man in a purple suit and hat with her. It seems just a little convenient that she’s seen with him now,” said TikTok investigator Abigail Hannon. “And we know the original Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by her friend Melissa, so maybe this body double is giving new Kate some pointers? It’s really tough to tell what’s going on here, but we will get to the bottom of this.”

The current actor playing Andrew W.K. claims the photos are being blown out of proportion.

“I’ve known Rachel, sorry wait, her name is Kate now. I’ve known Kate for years. I remember when she was recruited. We knew she was going to make it to the big time eventually. If you are a body double for a female member of the Royal Family you’re eventually getting called up to the big leagues,” said W.K. “Me and the crew just wanted to show her our support and let her know she’s doing a great job as Kate. She might be a bit too tall, but from 100 meters away she’s nearly identical. It’s just so cool to see someone you started with make it to this level of fame. We just continue to pray that the corporations that own our life rights don’t decide to kill us off.”

Conspiracy theorists say this scandal goes even deeper than the public realizes.

“If you think Kate has a body double then you’re a legitimate moron. She never even existed in the first place. Have you ever met Kate Middleton in real life? I didn’t think so, she only exists in photos and newsreel footage that is heavily doctored by the elites controlling the media,” said Archie Liston. “Prince William, Prince Harry, King Charles, none of them are real. They are all cyborgs modeled after what royal inbreeding would have looked like if the entire Royal Family hadn’t been consumed by the lizard people after the Falklands War. Time to wake up.”

At press time, Middleton was seen congratulating 75 different Vladimir Putins on their landslide reelection.