Even in a city full of stars, Shohei Ohtani cannot hide. While he was able to do that to some degree when he played for the Los Angeles Angels, that is no longer an option now that he decided to sign that gargantuan contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Factor in the embarrassing interpreter gambling scandal, Ohtani’s camp has fallen out of the frying pan and into the fire. Welcome to hell!

While there are 700 million reasons why Ohtani is not destined for Skid Row, he is about to face more scrutiny than he ever has in his life. Baseball’s former golden boy is now being mentioned in the same breath as Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson. Ohtani and his handlers can play the ignorance card all they want, but don’t cry crocodile tears if you do get caught. No more Sandy Lyle bagpipes for you!

As this story gets weirder by the nanosecond, how is this not an episode of Arrested Development? Like The Bluth Company, Ohtani has no earthly idea where millions upon millions of dollars go. All I know is they are not lining the banana stand on some Angeleno boardwalk somewhere, because we all know those things can only fit around $250K. With inflation, that is not even enough for a banana!

Ohtani wanted to play for a winner, but leaving a Quad-A team for Mickey Mouse has consequences.