Jeff Walz, the brother of Vice-Presidential candidate Tim Walz, has opened up about his brother’s brutal nature. “Tim was a bully,” said the brother, according to our source, “Nobody liked him.”
Unfortunately, we weren’t able to verify the source or the quote, so we sent ALLOD Journalisticator Tara Newhole to investigate.
“It seems that it’s a complete crock of bullhonkey,” said Newhole, “Tim’s neighbors seem to love him going back to slightly before he was born, when he kicked his mom so hard in the womb that she yelled “oh crap” in church and made everyone laugh.
“That was Tim’s nature, even then,” said Pastor Joe Barron, “Everyone loved him. It made poor Jeffrey so angry.”
According to Pastor Joe, Jeff was jealous of Tim because he could do things like math and formulate complete sentences. “Those weren’t Jeff’s strong points. He was more into sports. But Tim was better than him there as well.”
Several other neighbors we interviewed said that Tim still keeps in touch and sends personalized cards for the holidays. “We’re Jewish,” said neighbor Karen Detmeyer, “So he sends a lovely Haunukah card and a nice gefilte fish. It’s very thoughtful.”
There you have it, patriots. While Tim may not be a bully, he does refuse to buy Christmas cards and says “Happy holidays.” We can’t have that in our Christian Nation. God Bless America.
News
Cardi B’s Expecting Baby No.3’s Name and Gender Leaked! 😱😱😱
Cardi B has once again set the internet ablaze, this time with the exciting news surrounding her third pregnancy. The rapper, known for her bold personality and chart-topping hits, recently shared an ultrasound picture of her soon-to-arrive bundle of joy,…
BREAKING: Cardi B Breaks Social Media Silence with Surprising Reaction After Offset Shines as “Best Dad” at Son Wave’s Third Birthday Party
Cardi B reunited with her estranged husband Offset this weekend to celebrate their young son Wave’s third birthday party. The former couple have had a rollercoaster on-off relationship, culminating in Cardi filing for divorce on July 31 – the second time…
JUST IN: Megan Thee Stallion Delivers Powerful Message to Cardi B Following Offset Reunion at Wave’s Birthday Party Amid Divorce
Megan Thee Stallion appeared to be delighted after witness how Cardi B and Offset display during their son Wave’s Birthday partying despite divorce. On Saturday, the pregnant “Bodak Yellow” rapper shared videos and pictures from her son’s big day to…
Cardi B Reveals That Baby No.3’s Father Is Not Offset!!! 😱😱😱
Cardi B, never one to shy away from sharing her life with fans, has dropped a bombshell that has the internet buzzing. The Grammy-winning rapper, known for her bold personality and hit songs, has revealed that the father of her…
UFC ace Ronda Rousey set for WWE career as she releases video clip training with star Natalya
UFC star Ronda Rousey has sparked more speculation she will join WWE by releasing a training video with star Natalya. The UFC superstar has been rumoured to be making the switch from the octagon to the wrestling ring for some time. Ronda…
Ronda Rousey needs to quit MMA for good – like UFC legend Chuck Liddell – according to Dana White
RONDA ROUSEY should retire and leave MMA behind for good – like cage legend Chuck Liddell – according to UFC boss Dana White. During Rousey’s six-fight unbeaten streak in the UFC, White talked her up as one of the greatest ever…
End of content
No more pages to load