Billie Eilish Shares Untold Stories of ‘Childhood Pain’ in New Audible Original Podcast ‘Origin’.
Sydney Morgan on her rise to fame on TikTok, her battle with ulcerative colitis, and her favorite cosmetics Billie Eilish is being increasingly exposed.
The 20-year-old is one of eight international musicians sharing their “Origin” tales in a new, thought-provoking Audible Originals podcast that debuted this week.
With the theme “Origin,” this eight-part series presents avant-garde musicians in intimate poses as they respond to the query, “Where are you from?”
The first episode of the show follows Grammy Award winner Billie Eilish as she challenges the notion that her past defines her present.
Billie talks about her early years and how, at times, her independence overwhelmed her during the course of the episode. “There are moments when I wish I could just force myself to go to school so I would not have to think about my life or this or that,” the woman says.
“I had all these ideas, but no matter how much flexibility you have, it might be difficult to really utilize it. As if I know exactly how to handle it. You almost feel too strong. You know, like when you have paint and brushes and a blank canvas in front of you. What the hell do I draw, you ask.
Billie revealed that at the ages of 10 and 11, this feeling got so overwhelming that it inspired her to produce such “dark” music.
“When I first started out, I thought it was really strange, and everyone would say things like, ‘Billie Eilish’s music is so depressing, so sad, and too dark,’ and I would be like, ‘What are you talking about?’” Have you listened to Lana Del Rey, Yesterday, As My Guitar Gently Weeps, and The Beatles? Like, how absurd is that? I found it really odd that people perceived anything I was making as sinister. It is real, I promise,” she says.
She responded, “I do have doubts when I am creating and being vulnerable and be and being open about whatever I have been through,” when asked whether she ever worries that the music would become “too real” or if it genuinely helps her with her anguish. And occasionally I feel foolish. I do not need to talk about this, why are you even aware of this?
This is far too exposed. When I receive direct messages from fans saying things like “you know, this song saved my life,” You can see how difficult it would be to hear that. But the fact that I can influence them in any way is very incredible.
Additionally, Billie talked candidly about her past as a dancer and the mental and physical suffering she endured after having to give up dancing due to an unexpected hip injury. She would experience ongoing discomfort during her tours due to damage to her knees, ankles, and shins.
In closing the episode, Billie asserts that living is her “origin,” not suffering.
“Miserable is a terrible thing. However, it has a huge impact on your life. One important lesson I have learned from it is that everyone experiences suffering, regardless of their situation. We truly do, I mean it,” she says. “If someone has experienced something, it does not matter if you have; it all stems from the same place.”
Different artists approached the idea of their genesis in different ways. Whereas King Princess takes on origin inside the framework of identity—a location where we are created, informed, and ultimately transformed—Doja Cat rediscovers her origin through a process of reinvention.
